Friday, October 26, 2012

Would staying loyal to your partner still possible today?

Fidelity is a simple yet quite a powerful word that is undeniably most of us imperfect humans would ever face in our entire lives. Men, in most cases, got a huge problem with this comparing to women. The fear of having a lifetime commitment impedes having a healthy relationship as many perceives that no partners nowadays stay forever. With respect to those who are traditionally inclined and with the heart trained with good virtues and principles, those people still trust on this word.


Call of human nature

Physical attraction is normally impossible to get away from specially if someone in front of you was one of your fantasy in the past. Things can change over time that you might not have noticed this person long ago but now coming back to you as someone irresistible. Many of us take chances to get closer as we never got that unfortunately when we needed it. For some, they call it catching up. However, at your weakest point, you start to compare and see traits, activities and behavior that are less manifested by your partner. Now, that becomes deadly.

Spur of the moment often leads to being impulsive, still sane but physically insane, as one tends to do the unforgivable for just a night. A night of pleasure and short term happiness which turns out to be regretful and has created a dark deep hole of guilt that a person inflicts his self with.

Lack of purpose and meaning

Biggest question of all, "Why do you love me?" and most people answer "I don't know, I can't explain." Start  identifying your real intentions on having a partner. Is it just for the sake of having someone to show off the public like a trophy, someone who's by your side to avoid the feeling of eating, watching a movie or celebrating your birthday alone, someone you need for financial source and fleshly cravings? These are shallow and lame reasons that you could ever have in looking at your partner this way and eventually hurting them in the long run. Have some realistic views on relationship. You should always see yourself in the future with your partner and should have future plans. Planning may seem too ideal and tedious but this would define your relationship and how you treat your partner.

Communication Barrier

Factors like technology, work, current lifestyle, personality differences and age can affect your communication with your partner.

Too much use of the internet and everything associated with internet like social networks, gaming and not to forget online dating and adult sites would indeed block your two-way communication. Spending excessive time in front of the computer not only put risk on your health but also to your relationship's health. May it be profitable or not, this would hinder you from having a quality face-to-face communication with important people most specially your partner. Internet, indeed is a top communication tool we have now but still nothing beats the up close and personal talk like the old times.

An average working hour of 8 is already a big chunk of our time everyday. Overtime for the sake of saving for necessities and other financial concerns can drag you down into losing your quality talk with your partner. Would you keep customizing a car but the engine is starting to fail?

What you do now matters most to your partner rather than what you did before. People change so as some of their habits. Being with a partner again traces back to your purpose, means establishing useful habits that is usually productive and progressive. Now if you started to have a lifestyle that involves too much involvement with a group who are just loitering around drinking and partying, well better think about it because you'll never notice that you are spending more time with these people rather than with your partner. It's okay to be sociable and friendly up to a moderate level while taking precautions on events that would possible cause misunderstanding and misinterpretation.

When it comes to communication, we all have different approaches on how to talk things out. For some, they trigger a fight to be able to talk things out while others gently approach it as a casual talk without any difficulty to tell the other what is going on. Personalities differ and not all partners have the same character which would be a challenge to get a nice and non-hazardous talk.


Causes such as those mentioned above are inevitable and can vary to individuals depending on their perceptions. However, since more and more people are not being loyal and lacking commitment with their partners everyday, this doesn't mean that you'll go with the trend.

Stay away from all forms of infidelity

You may be tempted and wanted to feel the thrill of doing things without being caught but for sure the aftermath would to to you the opposite. If you know you have issues with infidelity then better yet not involve yourself with anyone who you'll end up hurting. But if you have a current partner, then try to give it an effort to fix yourself on what you could do together not with other people. It all starts in the heart when you wouldn't notice you are committing it even you haven't engaged in the act itself. By just thinking and fantasizing on someone can trigger the act of executing it impulsively.

Keep the communication line open

We meant communication as the "quality" time spent to talk about your plans, aspirations, fun talks like recalling your romantic moments and how you started. Although you may not do this often, this creates a healthy relationship and it's always good looking back. There are no specific frequency in a week or in a month but do it as often as you feel it. Talking doesn't have to be a burden. If you're a person who doesn't talk much about things like this, now's the time for you to give yourself a nudge. If you can't say it then write it or put it in record! You just need a buffer for you to be able to say what you wanted to say. Have constant special meal together in special places conducive for having a little talk. Dance together or get away out of town for a couple of days to have a private time to talk without any distraction from the busy streets where you're at.

Don't let that spark die

If you started out as a sweet couple like high school couple, don't let that change overtime. It's true that when we get older the more realistic and serious we become in life as we set goals and future plans. Furthermore, we tend to forget those important dates and events we had with our partners but they're just at the back of our heads. Try planning out activities and things that you can do together and have fun. Go back to the time when you first had the spark because of a common activity or something that brought you together. This would strengthen your tie as a couple as you keep enjoying life in doing things together not separately.

photos from Google

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